Showing posts with label Bad Poetry Friday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bad Poetry Friday. Show all posts

Friday, April 24, 2009

Bad Poetry Friday--May Challenge--Rhyme Badly with May

Hello Imaginary Readers,
On this last Friday in April I'm bravely posting my own bad poem and a silly challenge for you for the 31 days (and 5 Fridays) in May.

First, the Bad Poetry Friday Challenge for all brave bad (and so-bad-you're-good) poets--

For May, please compose your poems to include at least one rhyming couplet with words that rhyme with May. A quick peek at your rhyming dictionary or at RhymeZone.com's selection of May rhyming words will give you a clue of how silly and fun this will be. Bad poetry writing opportunities abound!

Rhyme Zone has organized hundreds of May-rhyming-words from one syllable to ten syllables just for you and your Bad Poetry Friday Muse. How could you not be inspired with such words and phrases in English and French as:
dismay
souffle
toupee
dog sleigh
rate of pay
yap away
exponential decay
alphanumeric display
and of course--
jean baptiste pierre antoine de monet...
plus hundreds more--take a look!

So send your Rhyming-with-May Poem ( 8 lines or less, related to writing, publishing or reading children's books in some way) without delay--today (or any day of the week) to BadPoetryFriday@gmail.com

I'll post the best or worst every Friday on The Imaginary Blog. Don't forget the amazing imaginary prize opportunites! Here is how to play.

And now--
To celebrate the arrival of a boxful of my new books (my author copies of The Amazing Trail of Seymour Snail just arrived!!) and for today's Bad Poetry Friday I am posting my own poem.

Be Like Seymour

by
Lynn E. Hazen

Be like Seymour
And Monet
Be creative
And wear a beret!

For Imaginary Readers in the San Francisco Bay Area, please come to Seymour (and Harriet's) Double-the-Fun Book Launch Party on May 16th 10:00-noon at Cover to Cover. For more fun, please wear your beret!

Misplaced your beret?
Here is a good place to find all kinds of berets--every possible color, all styles imaginable, wool or cotton, with sequins perhaps(!!!) and of course the Che beret (complete with red star and fake hair). Take a look!
http://www.berkeleyhat.com/basqueberets.html


Forecast: More bad poetry fun, of course. Plus creative artists, writers and poets all wearing berets! I wonder who will show up at Seymour's launch party sporting a sequinned beret?

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Bad Poetry Friday Awards Announced!

It's time to announce the winners of last Friday's Bad Poetry Friday contest.

We had 2 votes for Karen
1 vote for Betsy
and 1 vote for Kate (with hands and feet thrown in).

However, as Erin commented,
"...in this case NOT winning might be a good thing?"

I think you are right Erin. So...
Our Booo-bery winner is Erin Dealey because:
1. She says she wants to be a Booo-bery author.
2. She mostly followed the rules re: brevity and being related to children's books.

The Mal-decott goes to Karen Ehrhardt as she got the most votes (2), her poem was related to writing (and it was brief!)

The Poo-litzer is awarded to Stacy Dillon. I really liked her mention of the Dewey Decimal numbers, didn't you? How many of you researched what books were shelved at 612.6? How many already knew?

I say Julie Larios and Kate Coombs tie for the No-Bell Prize.

Which leaves the Michael J. Wince Award for Betsy Bird and her 1492 poem with rotting gum and a moldy smelling bus!

As you can see, pretty much everyone is a winner here at Bad Poetry Friday, which is why YOU should send your original bad poem (any day of the week) after reading these rules/guidelines.

Here's how to play:
Just make up really bad original rhymes poking good-natured fun at the frequent craziness of the children’s book world. Then send in your bad rhyme (any day of the week) in the body of your message (no attachments, please) to BadPoetryFriday@gmail.com.

Everyone’s invited--writers, editors, marketing folks, librarians, agents, reviewers, booksellers, and readers—cast your meter to the wind and send us your BAD POETRY please.

We’ll post the best (or the worst) depending on our mood every Friday (or every other Friday).
Let us know if you want to be credited or anon.

8 short lines max
6 or 4 lines even better.
2 lines might be best of all.
We’re going for short here, folks--
Because if it’s gonna be bad, it better be brief!

Forecast: See you next week once again for Bad Poetry Friday.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Let the Competition Begin for Bad Poetry Friday!

We promised a Bad Poetry Contest so here it is. We have imaginary prizes to award, too. But Imaginary Readers, first I need your help and your comments to help judge the contest.

Last Friday we saw 17-year-old Betsy Bird's untitled entry for our Bad Poetry Friday Contest. We now have 5 more brave contestants competing with Betsy for this round of Bad Poetry Friday! So for your Bad Poetry reading pleasure, here they come. After reading them all, please use the comments to tell me which you think is "the best of the worst" and why. Prizes for the best bad poems include The Mal-decott, The Booooo-bery, The Poo-litzer, The No-Bell, and the Michael J. Wince Awards. Oh yes, I know those are cringingly bad. It is Bad Poetry Friday after all.

Please comment on your favorites and help me choose the Best of the Worst.

Let the competition begin:

Entry # 1: Untitled and apparently unfinished poem by Betsy Bird of SLJ Fuse # 8, written when she was 17 years old.

Back in 1492
Columbus sailed the ocean blue
And 92 was once for us
The year we rode that great old bus

Of dusty metal, brown and old
That smelt of rotting gum with mold

Entry # 2:
ee ehrhardt, oops--I mean Karen Ehrhardt sends us this one:
i
b
sucha
bad poet...
u wanna hear
how i come to know it?
my rejection collection show it!
'that's all she wrote.'
'nuff said.
the end.
a.k.a.
fin.

Entry # 3:
Julie Larios of The Drift Record says:
Hiya, Lynn -
I salute Betsy Bird's poem written with heart at age 17 - nothing beats sincere poetry written by a teenager, unless it's poetry by Leonard Nimoy, which beats ALL other comers. But here is my contribution for the week, shaped by your suggestion, Lynn, that if it's going to be bad, it should be brief:

Stellar Thoughts

Every time
a star twinkles
it means
an angel tinkles.

Julie also states, "I love Bad Poetry Fridays. Like sherbet - it clears the palate."

Entry # 4:
Stacy Dillon (a school librarian) of Welcome to my Tweendom sends her fun poem which had me running to find out what a particular number of the Dewey Decimal system was all about.

I was working in a school library.
3 students of mine were named Harry.
They never knew,
what Dewey would do,
So shelved 612.6 under "scary"!

Entry # 5:
From author Erin Dealey:

Which came first--the writer or the egg?
Dear Editor, my manuscript--? (I'm trying not to beg.)
Has any bunny read it yet?
There, ok, I asked it.
All I want for Easter is a contract in my basket.

And Entry # 6: (which coincidentally has a Dear Editor and Bunny theme, too)
from Kate Coombs at Book Aunt. Kate says, "Hey, sorry I forgot about your line length rules. I blame it on the example of the coffee theft people! But I'll send this just the same..." (I think she's talking about Jules & Eisha's previous poem!)

Dear Editor (or, Why the Publisher's Mailbox Is Full)
I wrote about a dear sweet little bunny,
A story both cute and nice and adorable and funny.
My grandchildren love it.
They say it's not one bit
Yucky. No, they say, "Granny,
Whose first name isn't actually Franny,
Someone should make a book
Out of your bunny story, oh look look!
And we will even draw the pictures for you
Because the best grandma of all is most definitely you."
The bunny's name is Billy--
Isn't that perfectly quaint, not in the least silly?
So, dear editor, I beg,
Please buy my story, it's like a darling Easter egg!
The title is Billy Bunny Makes a Friend.
You have to read it all the way to The End.
--Kate Coombs (Book Aunt at http://bookaunt.blogspot.com)

Imaginary Readers, please cast your votes and your opinions in the comments function right below there. Which do you think is the best of the bad?

Then don't be aftraid to cast your meter to the wind and send YOUR bad poetry any day of the week to: BadPoetryFriday@gmail.com.

Here's how to play.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

More Bad Poetry Friday Coming Soon! Next Friday in Fact!

Dear Imaginary Readers,
We are in luck.
The Bad Poetry Friday bug has caught on (thanks to a little nudge from Betsy Bird) and we've received some more BPF submissions that will be posted (you guessed it!) next Friday! So come back and check it out.

We'll have some truly great bad poems by ee ehrhardt, oops--I mean Karen Ehrhardt, Julie Larios of The Drift Record, Book Aunt's Kate Coombs, and Welcome to my Tweendom's Stacy Dillon. Stacy is a school librarian and her fun poem had me running to find out what a particular number of the Dewey Decimal system was all about.

So please come back next Friday to see all of these and maybe your bad poem too. That is, if you send me one (any day of the week) at BadPoetryFriday@gmail.com.

In the meantime, Julie Larios sends this comment:

"Hiya, Lynn -
I salute Betsy Bird's poem written with heart at age 17 - nothing beats sincere poetry written by a teenager, unless it's poetry by Leonard Nimoy, which beats ALL other comers...
I love Bad Poetry Fridays. Like sherbet - it clears the palate."

Forecast: Clear your palate next Friday at the Imaginary Blog

© 2009 by Lynn E. Hazen of Lynn E. Hazen's Imaginary Blog. All rights reserved.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Bad Poetry Friday: Untitled & Apparently Unfinished by 17-year-old Betsy Bird

Whoo hoo! Bad Poetry Friday is Back!!

Here in San Francisco it is not quite Friday, but in NY it is...
So here we go! Just in time for National Poetry Month--it's an untitled and apparently unfinished poem by Betsy Bird of SLJ Fuse # 8, written when she was 17 years old.

Back in 1492
Columbus sailed the ocean blue
And 92 was once for us
The year we rode that great old bus

Of dusty metal, brown and old
That smelt of rotting gum with mold

Betsy comments on her contribution to Bad Poetry Friday:
"...here is a bad poem I just found from my big black high school notebook. A lot of the poems were the usual existential ennui, but there's at least one truly terrible one in here that has nothing to do with boys, body image, or self-pity...Can't imagine why I didn't cap off that bit of 17-year-old brilliance with further lines."

It's not too late Betsy. You can still add more. Personally, I do not think you have captured enough forced rhymes yet!

We'll check in with the Poetry Police shortly and see what they have to say about Betsy's 1492 poem. In the meantime, thanks Betsy for joining in the fun.
And Imaginary Readers, feel free to send in your own bad poetry any day of the week to BadPoetryFriday@gmail.com (no attachments, please)

Everyone’s invited--writers, editors, marketing folks, librarians, agents, reviewers, booksellers, and readers—cast your meter to the wind and send us your BAD POETRY please.
I’ll post the best (or the worst) every Friday.

Look here for the official rules on how to play Bad Poetry Friday!

The Rhymes, They Are A Changing
(sung to the tune of Bob Dylan’s Times They Are A Changing)

Come gather ‘round Bad Poets wherever you roam
And admit that the oddities in publishing have grown
No need to like blogging—you’ve found your new home
If your bad poem to you is worth saving…
We’d better start laughing, or we’ll feel all alone
For the rhymes, they are a changing…

Forecast: Still looking for a talented volunteer to create an inspiring logo for Bad Poetry Friday. I'm sure there is a brilliant one out there. Imaginary Logo?

© 2009 by Lynn E. Hazen of Lynn E. Hazen's Imaginary Blog. All rights reserved.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Bad Poetry Friday Returns (with the Best of Bad--Betsy Bird) just in time for National Poetry Month!


We're baaaaaaaaaack and we're baaaaaaaaaad !

That's Betsy Bird of Fuse # 8 with her rhyming hat on!

And bad bad Betsy Bird will be joining us--daring YOU to write a worse poem than her poem. Betsy has even promised to dive into her high school journals for bad inspiration!

Oh sure, there are much loftier blogs celebrating National Poetry Month with stanzas of worthwhile poems. This isn't one of them.

Bad poets need a place to gather and have fun, too, right? So please join us for Bad Poetry Friday!

The Rhymes, They Are A Changing
(sung to the tune of Bob Dylan’s Times They Are A Changing)

Come gather ‘round Bad Poets wherever you roam
And admit that the oddities in publishing have grown
No need to like blogging—you’ve found your new home
If your bad poem to you is worth saving…
We’d better start laughing, or we’ll feel all alone
For the rhymes, they are a changing…

Yes indeedy folks.
It's time once again for
Bad Poetry Friday right here on the Imaginary Blog.
Here’s how to play…

Just make up really bad rhymes poking good-natured fun at the craziness of the children’s book world. Then send in your bad rhyme (any day of the week) to BadPoetryFriday@gmail.com (no attachments, please)

Everyone’s invited--writers, editors, marketing folks, librarians, agents, reviewers, booksellers, and readers—cast your meter to the wind and send us your BAD POETRY please.

I’ll post the best (or the worst) every Friday.
Let me know if you want to be credited or anon.

8 short lines max
6 or 4 lines even better.
2 lines might be best of all.
We’re going for short here, folks--
Because if it’s gonna be bad, it better be brief!

Come creative people, please heed the call
Send us BAD POETRY, or no poetry at all…

Forecast: Bad Poems with a Chance of Laughter.

Oh, and we're cooking up some really bad poetry prizes, too. Wouldn't you love to win The Mal-de-cott?


Send your bad poems soon to see if you can beat Betsy Bird at bad.
And come back Friday to see who wins.


For a few of our previous bad poets, take a look here at Jim Averbeck, here at Marsha Morrow, here at M.T. Anderson, and here at 7 Imps' Jules and Eisha! We're sure you could do worse. That's the spirit!

Of course if you want to read some good poetry this month, go here, here, or here!

And if you are artistically inclined, I'd love to have a nifty Bad Poetry Friday logo. Any volunteers?

© 2009 by Lynn E. Hazen of Lynn E. Hazen's Imaginary Blog. All rights reserved.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Bad Poetry Friday is Back!

It seems like a good time to revive Bad Poetry Friday so here it is...

The Rhymes, They Are A Changing

(sung to the tune of Bob Dylan’s Times They Are A Changing)

Come gather ‘round Bad Poets wherever you roam
And admit that the oddities in publishing have grown
No need to like blogging—you’ve found your new home
If your bad poem to you is worth saving…
We’d better start laughing, or we’ll feel all alone
For the rhymes, they are a changing…

Yes indeedy folks.
It's time once again for
Bad Poetry Friday right here on the Imaginary Blog.
Here’s how to play…

Just make up really bad rhymes poking good-natured fun at the craziness of the children’s book world. Then send in your bad rhyme (any day of the week) via the comments link on the Imaginary Blog.

Everyone’s invited--writers, editors, marketing folks, librarians, agents, reviewers, booksellers, and readers—cast your meter to the wind and send us your BAD POETRY please.

I’ll post the best (or the worst) every Friday.
Let me know if you want to be credited or anon.

8 short lines max
6 or 4 lines even better.
2 lines might be best of all.
We’re going for short here, folks--
Because if it’s gonna be bad, it better be brief!

Come creative people, please heed the call
Send us BAD POETRY, or no poetry at all…

Forecast: Bad Poems with a Chance of Laughter. Yep, I think we could all use a little laughter right about now.

Friday, July 4, 2008

We're Back with Bad Poetry Friday-- Join us as Jules & Eisha Share Seven Impossible Stanzas...

Hold on to your coffee mugs, folks. It's time for Bad Poetry Friday...







Lynn says: Hmmm. That was supposed to be all one poem, but Blogger shrunk it really tiny (squint below). So I had to divide it into smaller chunks to make it show up a bigger, readable size. Anyone know how to get rid of the tiny border boxes? I suspect it has to do with my template choice. Please just imagine that those little boxes around the stanzas don't exist, okay?

Otherwise it would look like this:



Forecast: Poetry Police! I hear the sirens already...

Okay our Poetry Police just got this on their radar. Here's what the Poetry Police have to say: "Good poem. So smart and funny. Hmm, okay these people aren't even trying anymore. To write a bad poem you have to expend a little effort: wrack your brain for the cliche--it will come. But if you insist on being original and funny, well I'm afraid I can't help. Bad Poetry Friday? We just can't get there from here."

You heard it folks, we need worse bad poetry than this. Don't be afraid.
Remember: Let’s force more rhymes
Let’s mess with the meter
Let’s lower the bar from now on.

So come back next week to the Imaginary Blog because every Friday--
The Rhymes, They Are a Changing….

Come creative people, please heed the call
Send us BAD POETRY, or no poetry at all…
Here's how to play

Thursday, July 3, 2008

The Juggernauts are on a Roll! And They're Just in Time for Bad Poetry Friday!

Yikes, imaginary readers, look out...

Jules & Eisha at Seven Impossible Things Before Breakfast promised me weeks ago that they'd send me a "wretched poem" for the Imaginary Blog's Bad Poetry Friday contest--a poem in two voices no less.

They've been poetry-building back and forth for weeks now.

How bad is it? Come back bright and early Friday morning to see. It'll bloggle your mind so have your coffee mugs ready....

In the meantime, I bet I wasn't the only one running to the dictionary to find the meaning of Juggernaut. So perhaps one picture from Project Gutenberg and a definition from Wikipedia will come in handy?

"The Car of Juggernaut, as depicted in the 1851 Illustrated London Reading Book"


"The word is derived from the Sanskrit Jagannātha[1] (meaning "Lord of the universe") which is one of the many names of Krishna from the ancient Vedic scriptures of India...A juggernaut is a term used to describe a force regarded as unstoppable, that will crush all in its path..."

Find out more at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juggernaut...

And if you squint your eyes at the picture above I am sure you'll see Jules & Eisha. And why are we talking about Juggernauts? See Jules' Pyramidy Thingy and her explanation that follows on June 28's Tale of 3 Blogs below.

Bad Poetry Friday? Here's how to play.

Forecast: The Rhymes They Are a Changing

Friday, May 23, 2008

Time For Bad Poetry Friday-- I'm Just Not Sure This Poem is Bad...


Hello Imaginary Readers,
We're back for Bad Poetry Friday and as you recall, Kathi Appelt (from our interview earlier this week) promised us a bad poem.
Use the comments function to help us decide. Bad or not, Kathi provided a poem so of course, I win the bet, right?

Lynn: I have a bet with my Evil Twin, Ellen Yeomans, that you cannot write a bad poem. (she betting you cannot, and I’m hoping against all odds--
betting on the longshot that maybe, just maybe you have a fun bad poem just aching to be set free—plus I want to win the bet! So do you happen to have a discarded bad poem handy for our Bad Poetry Friday contest? Please, please please say yes.


Kathi: Okay, I think this one is pretty awful.

It’s called “Petunias”:

But do we really need
Petunias when there
Are roses as far
As the eye can see?

Daffodils in perfect
rows along
Exeter Avenue,
Such an orderly
Progression of
Starry faces.

Where should we
Put petunias
When there are
Bluebells
marigolds
And snap dragons.

You will vote for
Petunias if there
Are gladiola
On the ballot?

Forecast: Voting voting everywhere.

Friday, April 11, 2008

We Are Back Yet Again with Bad Poetry Friday. . . And a Touching Poem by M.T. Anderson

How bad is it?

As you recall, earlier this week we were interviewing M.T. Anderson about all kinds of things including a fascinating discussion on the creative value of broccoli, yes, broccoli. (scroll down to see the earlier interview, following this post in a weird reverse time warp of blogging)

We're now happy to present this week's winner of our Bad Poetry Friday contest (and our only contestant--hint-hint--send us your bad poetry please).

With more reverse blogging, we'll start where we left off at the end of our last interview with M.T. Anderson...

Lynn: One more request—We’ve begun a Bad Poetry Friday contest on the Imaginary Blog. Do you happen to have a bad poem handy that you’d like to contribute?

M.T.A.: I am not much of a poet. However, I have written one poem. It is an elegy.

Kathy Nuzum, the author of the acclaimed A SMALL, WHITE SCAR, once sent me a horror movie she had made with her family in which a man turned into a man-eating fungus. At one point in the movie, there was a moody, tender little scene set at the town's Annual Picnic for Orphans and Their Crippled Pets. Children played. Dogs ambled by with their heads in cones. And a one-legged chicken hopped across the screen.

Needless to say, I was wowed by the chicken. I made inquiries of the casting director. The chicken's name, as it turned out, was Peg, and she belonged to Kathy. From time to time, I would ask about Peg, hear how she was enjoying her scratching and feed, etc.

Then came the day when Peg passed on. So I wrote this elegy.

THRENOS

We mourn the late, lamented Peg
Who hopped around on just one leg
And as with hobbled gait she ambled
Laid her eggs, which were pre-scrambled.

A hen of grit, of sass, of mettle,
Though cock-eyed, thin, and unipedal,
When at the last she faced the worst,
She somehow put her best foot first.

We all shall miss her haughty hop
Now heav'nly Manna fills her crop;
But someday, when the dead shall quicken
We'll see her, plump and finger-lickin.

For on that day, when we're returning
Completed, whole, and without yearning,
On that day shall Peg be sighted,
Thigh with drumstick reunited.

mta

Thank you, M.T.A.
And now for commentary by our Poultry Police--
I mean Poetry Police.


At first the Poetry Police were stunned, speechless, unable to comment at all. After some deliberation, they were able to say:
“Not only did we have to look up the definition of M.T.A.’s title, which we loathe to do—as we’d rather make stuff up--but his is the best (or worst) kind of bad poetry. It beguiles with flawless meter and rhyme and panders to poultry partisans. First we’re roosting, no--roasting, no--rooting for this inspiring one-legged chicken named Peg, then M.T. Anderson is pulling our leg."

So come back next Friday folks, when we hope to offer more bad, better bad, most likely an even worse--Bad Poetry Friday!
In the meantime, here’s how to play…


Forecast: Increased chances of bad poetry all month long. After all, isn't April National Poetry Month?

Sunday, April 6, 2008

An Interview With M.T. Anderson

photo from Candlewick's site

M.T. Anderson, Award Winning Author of FEED &
THE ASTONISHING LIFE OF OCTAVIAN NOTHING
(and many other titles) discusses:
Why it's Important to get "Knocked Around Mentally"
The Merits of Broccoli
Writing in Various Children's Genres
Back-up Career Plans (or lack thereof)
Playing Twister For Plot Points
His Next Books
and More...




Lynn: Since this is an imaginary blog—and you clearly have a vivid imagination, could you please offer aspiring authors any imagination advice, for example how do you keep going when what you are imagining is not yet showing up for real on the page?

M.T.A.: The only advice I have for this is to go read something you're not accustomed to reading. I mean, go to the library and peruse magazines on subjects that you can't stand, or just walk through the aisles, pick out a book on something obscure, and sit down and read a few chapters. It's important that we all prod ourselves so we don't keep trundling along in the same rut. Startle yourself, so you recall how various and strange the world is.

Maybe you'll use something you read -- as part of a conversation or an image -- and maybe you won't. But either way, it's important to get knocked around mentally.

Lynn: You write across many genres and age ranges in children’s literature. Do you juggle several projects at once? Any advice on managing that kind of juggle?

M.T.A.: Yes, I find it tremendously productive to work on several things in rotation. When one thing gets too serious, too constraining, then I do something zany and young where I can make up anything. Then, after a few weeks, when that starts to seem exhaustingly frivolous, I turn back to something with more substance.

As my editor always says, "A change is as good as a rest."

Lynn: We notice you don’t yet have an author website. Are you a reclusive writer or purposely resisting The Feed? Any thoughts on websites, blogs & information overload?

M.T.A.: Yeah. I kind of dislike the whole part of being a writer that involves self-promotion.

Having said that, websites are important these days since so many kids have to do reports on authors, and I have no real excuse for not having one. Except laziness.

Lynn: What food, drink or quirky rituals feed your creativity?

M.T.A.: We all must eat broccoli before we begin. Broccoli contains formidable doses of vitamin A, vitamin C, folic acid, calcium, iron, potassium, and beta carotene. The vitamin C facilitates the easy absorption of the iron. The phytochemicals incite detoxifying enzyme production.

I hate the taste. Disgusting. Like plastic pellets, autumn rot, or, at best, the loam of the good road. Nonetheless, it confers an almost supernatural clarity of thought and engagement with the senses.

Drusius, son of the Roman Emperor Tiberius, abjured all other foods and ate only broccoli for a year. His urine became bright green.

The vegetable’s name in Italian means “little, well-muscled arm”; Romans called it “the Five Green Fingers of Jupiter.”

We should eat it for the clarity, but also because in its form it ramifies, and so reminds us of causality. We should eat it because it is cruciferous, and we all have our little rood to carry. What better thing for a writer to ingest than a miniature tree? If only, before every stint of writing, we devoured not simply this tiny woodland but also diminutive houses, little lawns, trinket people, taking them all within us, holding landscapes and continents in acid, observed by the stomach, applauded by the intestines – and ushered thence to their final glory, their new form, their re-emancipation.

Also, it is worth pointing out that the producer of the Bond films was Albert R. Broccoli.

Lynn: Interesting. And is it true that playing Twister is one of your strategies for scheming up unusual plot twists and turns?

M.T.A.: That would be an incredible way to write a novel. On each circle, you could put a different plot point. You know, "Gets kitten," "gets pregnant," or "dies in a freak accident."

Then, on your hands and feet, you write the names of the characters. You're all set! Spin the spinner -- and off you go!


M.T. Anderson & Jill Santopolo, participating in
Game Night at Vermont College's MFA Program
in Writing For Children & Young Adults.
Are they just playing Twister? Or working out plot points?


Lynn: Do you listen to music while you work? Any favorites?

M.T.A.: I don't listen to music while I'm writing, but I listen to it beforehand to get into my own kind of writer's trance. It varies with the book I'm writing and the texture I'm trying to produce. So when I was writing FEED, which needed a kind of scrambled, angry, distracted voice, I created a mix for myself with things like Charles Mingus, Cecil Taylor, George Antheil, and John Zorn. For THE CLUE OF THE LINOLEUM LEDERHOSEN, which I wanted to give a kind of early 20th C adventure feel, I listened to Bix Beiderbecke and Fletcher Henderson. For the OCTAVIAN books, I listened to Scottish and English folk music of that period, and things like Corelli and Tartini (O's favorites), and African music which resemble what scholars presume African-American music of the period sounded like. I tried to imagine cities in which those very different forms all coexisted.

Lynn: What childhood experience(s) influenced you in deciding to become an author? Did you have any “back up” career plan?

M.T.A.: I have always wanted to become an author. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't. I don't have any other skills. I can stack firewood, I guess. So maybe I could be a houseboy. Except my lung once collapsed when I was dusting someone's piano. I really don't know.

Now you've got me worried.

Lynn: Don't worry. Your fans are very happy you are an author and we want to know about your next books. What are you working on now? What can we look forward to?

M.T.A.: I'm currently correcting the copy-editing for the second and final OCTAVIAN NOTHING book, THE KINGDOM ON THE WAVES, in which our hero is reunited with friends, learns secrets of the past, and takes up arms in the Revolution.

And I'm working on the third of my THRILLING TALES, this one entitled JASPER DASH AND THE FLAME-PITS OF DELAWARE. It's about an expedition which penetrates into the hidden heart of the Blue Hen State.

Lynn: One more request—We’ve begun a Bad Poetry Friday contest on the Imaginary Blog. Do you happen to have a bad poem handy that you’d like to contribute?

(Well, imaginary readers of the Imaginary Blog, we are in luck. M.T. Anderson sent us a sure-to-inspire-poem, but we are not posting it until Friday because as I'm sure you recall, every Friday--well most Fridays--hmm, let's just say on some Fridays, "The Rhymes, They are a Changing."


So folks, come back this Friday to see M.T. Anderson's poem. I'll give you a hint--it's about a one-legged chicken named Peg!)

Today's Forecast: Broccoli with a chance of more broccoli!

Friday, February 1, 2008

We're Back With Bad Poetry Friday

How bad is it?

Here is this week's winner, sent in by Marsha Morrow, brave children's book writer:

It’s so very tough, tough, tough
Not to write fluff, fluff, fluff.
I want to fly
Straight up to the sky!
I don’t want to fall on my duff, duff, duff.


"Perfect. Well done, Marsha. It's fun bad, the best kind," our Poetry Police comment. "The repetition serves no purpose and thus elevates (or perhaps, lowers) the piece into our realm of truly bad poetry."

And yet it captures the heart and hope of every writer.
So good luck everybody. Go forth and write non-fluff.
We'll see you soon for:
More Bad
Better Bad
Could It Get Even Worse Bad (we hope so) Bad Poetry

Be brave and send us--any day of the week--your Bad Poetry, please!

The Rhymes, They Are A Changing
(sung to the tune of Bob Dylan’s Times They Are A Changing)

Come gather ‘round Bad Poets wherever you roam
And admit that the oddities in publishing have grown
No need to like blogging—you’ve found your new home
If your bad poem to you is worth saving…
We’d better start laughing, or we’ll feel all alone
For the rhymes, they are a changing…

Here’s how to play…

Just make up really bad rhymes poking good-natured fun at the frequent craziness of the children’s book world. Then send in your bad rhyme (any day of the week) in the body of your message (no attachments, please) to BadPoetryFriday@gmail.com.

Everyone’s invited--writers, editors, marketing folks, librarians, agents, reviewers, booksellers, and readers—cast your meter to the wind and send us your BAD POETRY please.

We’ll post the best (or the worst) depending on our mood every Friday.
Let us know if you want to be credited or anon.

8 short lines max
6 or 4 lines even better.
2 lines might be best of all.
We’re going for short here, folks--
Because if it’s gonna be bad, it better be brief!

Send in your bad rhyme (any day of the week) in the body of your message (no attachments, please) to BadPoetryFriday@gmail.com.

Come back next week to the Imaginary Blog because every Friday--
The Rhymes, They Are a Changing….

Come creative people, please heed the call
Send us BAD POETRY, or no poetry at all…

Forecast: Bravery with occasional bursts of flying

Friday, January 25, 2008

Bad Poetry Friday

The Rhymes, They Are A Changing
(sung to the tune of Bob Dylan’s Times They Are A Changing)

Come gather ‘round Bad Poets wherever you roam
And admit that the oddities in publishing have grown
No need to like blogging—you’ve found your new home
If your bad poem to you is worth saving…
We’d better start laughing, or we’ll feel all alone
For the rhymes, they are a changing…

Yes indeedy folks.
Evil Twins, Lynn Hazen & Ellen Yeomans, are hosting
Bad Poetry Friday right here on the Imaginary Blog.
Here’s how to play…

Just make up really bad rhymes poking good-natured fun at the frequent craziness of the children’s book world. Then send in your bad rhyme (any day of the week) in the body of your message (no attachments, please) to BadPoetryFriday@gmail.com.

Everyone’s invited--writers, editors, marketing folks, librarians, agents, reviewers, booksellers, and readers—cast your meter to the wind and send us your BAD POETRY please.

We’ll post the best (or the worst) depending on our mood every Friday.
Let us know if you want to be credited or anon.

8 short lines max
6 or 4 lines even better.
2 lines might be best of all.
We’re going for short here, folks--
Because if it’s gonna be bad, it better be brief!

This week’s winner:

Sorry Harry
No Newbery


Sent in by Jim Averbeck, author of IN A BLUE ROOM .


Thanks Jim.
Here’s what we like about your poem:
It’s short.
It reflects on the children’s book world in just 4 little words.
It’s timely, especially with the all the awards just announced at the ALA.

Okay folks, Jim’s poem is so good, it’s not quite bad enough.

In fact, after hearing:

Sorry Harry
No Newbery


Our Poetry Police state,
“That’s funny and not bad.
However we expect worse poetry than this.
Let’s force more rhymes
Let’s mess with the meter
Let’s lower the bar from now on.”

You heard it folks,
So come back next week to the Imaginary Blog because every Friday--
The Rhymes, They Are a Changing….

Come creative people, please heed the call
Send us BAD POETRY, or no poetry at all…

Forecast: Bad Poems with a Chance of Laughter