Friday, April 10, 2009

Let the Competition Begin for Bad Poetry Friday!

We promised a Bad Poetry Contest so here it is. We have imaginary prizes to award, too. But Imaginary Readers, first I need your help and your comments to help judge the contest.

Last Friday we saw 17-year-old Betsy Bird's untitled entry for our Bad Poetry Friday Contest. We now have 5 more brave contestants competing with Betsy for this round of Bad Poetry Friday! So for your Bad Poetry reading pleasure, here they come. After reading them all, please use the comments to tell me which you think is "the best of the worst" and why. Prizes for the best bad poems include The Mal-decott, The Booooo-bery, The Poo-litzer, The No-Bell, and the Michael J. Wince Awards. Oh yes, I know those are cringingly bad. It is Bad Poetry Friday after all.

Please comment on your favorites and help me choose the Best of the Worst.

Let the competition begin:

Entry # 1: Untitled and apparently unfinished poem by Betsy Bird of SLJ Fuse # 8, written when she was 17 years old.

Back in 1492
Columbus sailed the ocean blue
And 92 was once for us
The year we rode that great old bus

Of dusty metal, brown and old
That smelt of rotting gum with mold

Entry # 2:
ee ehrhardt, oops--I mean Karen Ehrhardt sends us this one:
bad poet...
u wanna hear
how i come to know it?
my rejection collection show it!
'that's all she wrote.'
'nuff said.
the end.

Entry # 3:
Julie Larios of The Drift Record says:
Hiya, Lynn -
I salute Betsy Bird's poem written with heart at age 17 - nothing beats sincere poetry written by a teenager, unless it's poetry by Leonard Nimoy, which beats ALL other comers. But here is my contribution for the week, shaped by your suggestion, Lynn, that if it's going to be bad, it should be brief:

Stellar Thoughts

Every time
a star twinkles
it means
an angel tinkles.

Julie also states, "I love Bad Poetry Fridays. Like sherbet - it clears the palate."

Entry # 4:
Stacy Dillon (a school librarian) of Welcome to my Tweendom sends her fun poem which had me running to find out what a particular number of the Dewey Decimal system was all about.

I was working in a school library.
3 students of mine were named Harry.
They never knew,
what Dewey would do,
So shelved 612.6 under "scary"!

Entry # 5:
From author Erin Dealey:

Which came first--the writer or the egg?
Dear Editor, my manuscript--? (I'm trying not to beg.)
Has any bunny read it yet?
There, ok, I asked it.
All I want for Easter is a contract in my basket.

And Entry # 6: (which coincidentally has a Dear Editor and Bunny theme, too)
from Kate Coombs at Book Aunt. Kate says, "Hey, sorry I forgot about your line length rules. I blame it on the example of the coffee theft people! But I'll send this just the same..." (I think she's talking about Jules & Eisha's previous poem!)

Dear Editor (or, Why the Publisher's Mailbox Is Full)
I wrote about a dear sweet little bunny,
A story both cute and nice and adorable and funny.
My grandchildren love it.
They say it's not one bit
Yucky. No, they say, "Granny,
Whose first name isn't actually Franny,
Someone should make a book
Out of your bunny story, oh look look!
And we will even draw the pictures for you
Because the best grandma of all is most definitely you."
The bunny's name is Billy--
Isn't that perfectly quaint, not in the least silly?
So, dear editor, I beg,
Please buy my story, it's like a darling Easter egg!
The title is Billy Bunny Makes a Friend.
You have to read it all the way to The End.
--Kate Coombs (Book Aunt at

Imaginary Readers, please cast your votes and your opinions in the comments function right below there. Which do you think is the best of the bad?

Then don't be aftraid to cast your meter to the wind and send YOUR bad poetry any day of the week to:

Here's how to play.


Sandy said...

One vote for Betsy Bird. It was hard to choose, but there's nothing as wonderfully bad as the poetry from a student notebook.

Anonymous said...

I vote for Karen Ehrhardt's poem!!!!

Kate Coombs said...

Wow! Who knew "beg" and "egg" would be such a winning (losing?) rhyme, let alone bunnies and Easter baskets as associated with editors and manuscript submissions... Erin and I were definitely in sync that day!

BookChook said...

I truly think Kate wins hands down. I'll throw in my feet for good measure!

Erin Dealey said...

The over-acheiver in me is bummed cuz I have no votes...Then a friend reminded me that in this case NOT winning might be a Good thing? Except I really want to be a Booo-bery author. : )

Cathy C. Hall said...

Okay, Karen Ehrhardt's poem is stinkin'-up-the-joint bad. On the other hand, I just wrote my poem for the day and I think I was channeling Betsy Bird's poem. (Is that bad???)